Vivek : Hey, I switched my job today.
Rahul : Nice … I too quit today, on my way to launch my start up.
Vivek : Cool yaar, lets drink !
And they continue with the choices.
Megha : I changed my job, hoping to get more time now.
Priya : I left my job today, i find it difficult to manage long hours with the baby.
Megha : Oh, it’s really difficult for me to just sit at home, you know.
Priya : Yeah, but i couldn’t really bear being away from my baby for so long ..
Few days later Priya writes an emotional blog justifying her choice with 5 or 9 or whatever excellent reasons she could think of, one of them definitely has to be “she bonds better with the baby”. Megha reads this and comes up with another blog justifying her choice with another set of excellent reasons including “children are more independent”, “working moms set example for children” etc etc. Both the blogs got few women commenting they were in tears while reading it and how it’s there own story.
And they are still skeptical about the choices.
Now before you make any conclusions, let me be clear that this is not about the ambitions of men and women, this is not to say men are careless and regardless of families and this is also not to say that women are not enterprising.
It’s the attitude. The attitude a woman has for her own decisions, the attitude a woman has for other women is so different from men. Society is such that these conversations has to be different. Though things are changing, men are more involved in families and women are exploring the world more than any time before, kids still in general are women’s responsibility and focus.
There are infinite things women can teach to men but this is one thing we should learn from them. To not doubt yourself and to not belittle fellow women for the sack of justifications no body but only you need. To all my “why i chose to be stay at home mom” or “why i chose to be working mom” blogger friends, i want to ask who cares other than you and the two respective group of few women who are searching for similar justification and does your choice makes any difference to anyone’s life but you and your family.
You stay at home or you work it’s your mindfulness which makes you a better parent. Each child is different and the ecosystem comprising you, your family, your values, friends and society in it’s entirety plays a vital role in the development. How effectively we manage our lives makes a difference to child’s upbringing whether its with work or without work.
Neither staying at home makes you a better mother nor choosing to work is a selfish decision then why take the guilt trips. Ride high with confidence, be happy for yourself and for all the wonderful and lovely women out there.
My dear stay at home friends let your kid handle little failures even if you are around and without doubts you will raise an independent kid and my dear working ladies the first baby steps can be missed even if we are just watching TV at home and there are always the second, third, fourth steps to enjoy equally.
There’s an entire life in blossom to be witness of, enjoy it with all your mindfulness, without any doubts and without trivializing our fellow women.
Just wondering would there be wars if men tend to justify all decisions and actions, lets take it some other time 🙂